AIBU about a fall out with a friend.

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AIBU about a fall out with a friend.

Post  beadyeye on Sun May 24, 2009 9:20 pm

Not totally sure this is the right place for this but I really would appreciate your honest opinion. ( i dont take offence easily so please call it as you see it).

Here goes..... about 3 years ago I fell out big style with my best friend ( I will call her S). For year i had been cleaning up her mess as she has a tendency to sweep every thing under the carpet ( and has many skeletons in the closet). I used to watch her kids after school and on school holidays and she would always say her OH would give me money at the end of the week ( this never happened) I always let it go. the about 3 years ago some silly woman claimed that S's OH was the father of her son ( the child was the same age as S's DD). I had know about this since the boy was born and had spoken to her OH and he totally denied it. Any way S and her OH decided to sweep it under the carpet and move over 100 miles away. It turns out the the mad woman was lying and she has a fasination with S's OH. ( the lady in question really is mad she ended up being sectioned). before S moved away I told her that she really really needed to talk to her Dad and step mum about this as too many people knew about what this woman had been saying. She choose not to tell them. About a month after she moved away the mad woman told S's sister who couldnt tell her parents fast enough. so the shit hit the fan. I stuck up for S and said to her SIL" that all the family was good at keeping secrets and S was just doing what she had always done" ( they are not a family that share much). I then added " that If S told her kids the truth about S's real mum ( her mum died when she was 10 and has never been spoken about in the family) and that the woman that they call gran is really her step mum the S could put a picture of her mum up in her house". we the SIL couldnt run fast enough back to the stepmum to tell her what I had said about the photo and all hell broke loose. A bigger deal was made of me saying about the picture than what had been made of the fact that some woman was claiming the S's oh had fathered another child ( I should add the at the time S's children where 9 and 13). That was the straw that broke the camels back for me. Over the past 3 years I have on the odd occasion felt like I was being stalked by her.

Recently I have been missing her a little so when she send a friend's request to me I decided OK, why not. I added her 2 days ago and already she is annoying me. Last night I had left the FB page up while I was getting baby to sleep and when I came back she had started a FB chat as though nothing had ever happened. No apology, no congratulations ( I got married in November) ( and also I've had the baby since we fell out). Today on her Fb status is some nonsence about "people should add you to there FB firends if they arent going to talk to you".

Do I give her the boot or is the a nice way to tell her to back off and let me come round in my own time .

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Post  Hushy on Sun May 24, 2009 10:47 pm

O-M-G. The tangled webs we weave!

I don't think YABU. I think you were sticking up for your friend and her family chose to twist that to suit themselves. They seem to enjoy drama from what I am reading between the lines of your post.

I don't know how I'd handle the FB thing ... I'd be likely to just delete her, but I might possibly send a message first saying something like "Sorry, I didn't realise how raw everything still was for me until I accepted your invite". That might give her a chance to at least apologise properly, or for you both to talk things through. I'd probably just delete though, in the situation you've outlined. If she's a bit stalker*ish you're probably better off out of it!


A Scottish Mum of 4.

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